Attachment refers to humans having an innate desire to have a closeness or bond to the person who provides their primary cares. For children this is normally a parent and a healthy, close attachment allows them to feel secure and safe. Children who feel safe and protected by their primary caregiver are also more likely to achieve their developmental milestones.
Exposing a child to family violence directly impacts on a child’s attachment to their caregivers as the safety and security they feel can become frightening. A child does not have to be directly involved in the violence to be harmed. Many children refer to having been in their bedroom or an adjoining room and having heard the verbal abuse between the parents resulting in them feeling fearful and scared. They can also be exposed to the destruction of property, injuries to their parent and not have their needs met due to neglect as a result of a parent’s incapacity to meet their needs when and after violence occurs. Children exposed to Family Violence are also likely to have to take on a parenting role to their siblings and can assume responsibility beyond their years.
Children who are exposed to physical and verbal violence can present with symptoms of anxiety and can be more prone to having trouble regulating their own emotions. They can experience sleep and behavioural disturbances, difficulty concentrating in the educational setting and also have difficulty maintaining social relationships with their peers.
Domestic and Family Violence is not just about the adults involved. It is about planning for the safety of the entire family but most importantly the victims including the children who often are too young to speak for themselves.
Children can become a link or means of control in a relationship characterised by violence.Perpetrators can use the child to emotionally abuse the other parent and denigrate the protective parent. It is important for everyone to change their attitude towards violence and understand it is not acceptable in our society. We must teach children they deserve to be safe and we will protect them.
